SOUTHAMPTON 0 AFC BOURNEMOUTH 0: Carry on missing that goal

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If there were points awarded for near misses both teams would have got a hatful. But, there isn’t and the crisp white netting of both goals lived to fight off the washing machine for another few days.

A clean sheet means at the very least a point and in the mighty Cherries case four games unbeaten. But, how it could have been so much different. Football is a serious game (most of the time), but we were laughing so much we think we let out a little bit of wee.

Not quite sure what made us laugh the most. Harry Arter’s penalty miss, Afobe’s piss poor shot or Ryan Fraser’s cartoon-like descent to the floor to win the penalty. Note to all Premier League defenders; stop picking on the Wee man, pick on someone your own size. Or should that be keep on picking on him and giving us penalties (we will score one soon).

In the first half we were struggling to make an impact on the game and Southampton were creating chances at will, but their shooting boots were just as shit as ours. Surely a goal would come, but as the game slowly turned into a script with all the hallmarks of a classic Carry On film, it almost seemed inevitable that the score would end up being 0-0. The second half continued the allergy to scoring a goal syndrome, but at least we were creating chances. Surely a goal would come, but as the game wore on it once again looked inevitable that it was going to be our first 0-0 draw since October last year.

ARTER THE FORGIVEN, AFOBE THE UNFORGIVEN

AFC Bournemouth undoubtedly had the best chances to win the game, but the pitch and Afobe’s goal radar conspired against us.

When the ref blew for the penalty we were thinking only twelve minutes to go, the points are ours. Then we thought I beat Afobe won’t be taking the penalty. Then we thought I wonder if Steve Cook will have a go. No, the task was assigned to Harry Arter. Up he stepped, the turf gave way and the ball disappeared into the distance. F**k me, we can’t even score a penalty. But, we forgive you Harry. But were still left wondering why Charlie Daniels isn’t back on penalty duty.

Afobe is not forgiven. His finishing was woeful and why he even needed to take a touch is a mystery. Surely a striker with a killer instinct would have hit that ball first time. Long before anyone had a chance to close him down. His miss did leave us wondering two things. One, would we have won had it been Afobe passing to King? Two, why did Afobe stay on and King come off.

On the positive side we got a point. Only need another four to stay up. A win at Liverpool and a draw at home to Chelsea anyone ☺

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